I was well aware there’d be trade-offs for moving across the country. I mean I’ve lived in London before… I know you miss out on things when you don’t live near your family and/or friends. For example, my oldest friend (not age… length of time. I mean her mom remembers the first time my parents brought me to church after I was born amount of time) got married yesterday. It was a blow when she told me she’d be getting married so soon after I left. I knew chances were slim to none that I’d be able to make it back for he wedding, but she understood.
However, what I forgot about was the unexpected life’s sucker punches to the gut. They happen where ever you’re living. They happen regardless your financial situation. I’ve had them happen when I lived at home and the times when I haven’t been living at home and when I’ve been travelling. Today, life saw that I wasn’t expecting anything terrible to happen at the moment-what else is to be expected on a lazy Sunday evening? Then I noticed some Facebook posts from some family talking about a friend dying. In my world, it’s safe to assume, I could find out from my parents.
When I texted my mom to find out who died, I was expecting a vaguely familiar name of someone who was closer to 100 than 50. But when my mom answered, it confused the fuck out of me. Normally, when I have such text exchanges with one or both my parents, I usually do the text version of solemnly nodding. Not today though! My person asked what was wrong because he heard the reaction to the text. So, I told him that a family friend had died. This friend was also my boss for a year when I was in my twenties. She hired me at time in my life when I floundering.
I’m not stupid. She’d have died even if I had been in Seattle. Yet… there’s something more comforting to get bad news at home than when you’re in somewhere unfamiliar. I also know that the next time life decides to sucker punch me, it’ll be a bit easier than it was this time. Not because the news will be any better. It’ll be because my surroundings will be that much more familiar. AND my person will be that more familiar with what to do when I get bad news.
This won’t be the first funeral I’ll have missed because of distance. It won’t be the last either. But tonight my heart is sad and my stomach is sore. (It has nothing to do with amount of chicken strips I ate earlier.) After I finish this, I’ll turn out my light and replay the last time we talked. Tomorrow, I’ll go to work and get through my day, and I’ll be grateful to a woman who gave me a chance for me to realize doing admin wasn’t the direction where I wanted my life to go. And I’ll remember her when there are quiet moments between clients and on my commute.
singlechristianbich 