Laziness has become my frenemy. Fuck that, because I fucking hate that word. Laziness is my best friend. Okay. Top ten. Of course my best friend (or any of the people I hold in my inner circle) and I argue when we disagree and sometimes are bad influences on each other. But at the end of the day, we care about each other and when we don’t talk, I miss her. If I could see her (or any of them) whenever I wanted I would. In a heartbeat. So, why in the world would I fight my laziness? I’ve stopped trying and gone with the flow.
I have a great time with my laziness. As soon as I get home from work, I tend to take off my pants or on even lazier days, I just pass the fuck out wearing whatever I had worn to work. This is pretty nasty given I work in community mental health, and there’s a fuck ton of construction happening at my branch right now. But ya know, I don’t wanna piss off my laziness. In fact, a couple weeks ago, I did nothing. I literally stayed in bed for a couple days and gave a giant middle finger to the real world. Not because I “hate” the world. But ya know, I love my laziness.
Perhaps, I’m deluding myself. Perhaps this is what depression looks like when I have to go to work. I mean, I do have to force myself to reach out to friends to hang out. As well as go out with my person on the weekends or on the rare weeknights we hang out. I know I need to be more diligent about going to kickboxing and eating healthy and not stressing about work. When I say need, I mean I think it’s a better life choice than going all Jabba-y on my bed after work. That’s not to say I don’t mind not doing anything every now and then.
There are things coming up that are exciting. Things are changing. Hopefully, I’ll be able to keep my wits about me. And hopefully, it’s just being on the rag that’s making me so lackluster at the moment. To find a silver lining, at least I don’t have terrible allergies/hay fever/SAD at the moment.
singlechristianbich 